


Daffodil Petals

by EchoSherry



Category: Banana Bus Squad, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Angst, F/M, M/M, Unrequited Love, but i love angst, delirious is a great friend, hanahaki disease au, ohmtoonz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2019-03-15 02:13:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13603413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EchoSherry/pseuds/EchoSherry
Summary: Ohm always thought love is beautiful even If It hurts.When he starts coughing petals that would eventually turn black, forcing him to make a choice, It doesn't really change anything.aka, the hanahaki disease AU that no one asked for.





	Daffodil Petals

When he started uploading videos for YouTube, he didn’t expect to come this far. Even if he pretended to be confident and so sure of himself, the self-doubt and anxiety that planted itself inside him for years never died. No matter how big his channel grew, or how often others would compliment him, that anxiety would only grow deeper. He never thought he’d make it this far.

But he never expected to fall in love either.

A bitter smile slowly appeared on his pink lips.

_Falling in love._

He had always been terrified of it. He always had a feeling if he ever loved, he’d love endlessly. And yet, he tried to tell himself it was a good thing. Because love can push further than any motivation, it can make people do great things. But in the back of his mind he knew, that love easily destroys a person. Ohm never believed he’d end up on one of the two sides, he always thought he’d be blessed enough to feel the warmth of love, but get broken by it.

This story doesn’t start like those told time and time again. The late afternoon sun, spilled coffee, apology and love at first sight. It starts in his dark room, between the intense screaming and loud laughs. Ohm considered before what was the exact moment the feeling took over, and the seed was planted but he could never remember. He was convinced his love story wasn’t an intense quick one, but a slow warm feeling every time the older man made him laugh. It could have been the first time he noticed how hard Cartoonz made him laugh, or when he caught himself naming ‘their’ games, like they were some sort of couple who had their own things and moments. Or when he felt an urge make something theirs. It might have been the first time they stayed up all night to talk about small meaningless things. Or the first time they met, when his heart was about to explore into million pieces and he never knew if it was anxiety or something else.

 He loved it when the fans decided to give them a name as a pair. He had an excuse, for the flirting and the clinging. _For the fans,_ would be his answer if anyone asked. But no one questioned his affection for the older male. He told himself, it’s because he acts that way with everyone, back when he tried to deny it. Then he wondered how no one ever noticed how tender and soft he was with Luke.

For a while, Ohm thought he could live with it. For a while it felt like they’ll have this forever. It was one day when Cartoonz paused the game in the middle of an intense fight and started laughing softly. He didn’t understand what happened as Luke resumed for a while before announcing they got enough footage for a video. That night his heart kept stinging, like a hundred needles were surrounding his heart and poking it. When Luke finally answered his weird silly question, Ohm read a girl’s name. Then saw a photo. Luke met someone, the older man thought she was cute. Ohm couldn’t disagree.

When Luke told him _she wants to go on a date,_ the silence in the air broke _._ Ohm could hear the whir of the air conditioning and the quick beating of his heart. He held back the tears, for as long as he could. He knew it will happen eventually, when Luke would finally meet the right the person and make a beautiful family. He knew that person would never be him. Why couldn’t he hold back the tears filling his vision? Why couldn’t his heart stop hurting like he was continuously getting stabbed?  

He punched himself, right where he thought his heart was. Where the pounding was coming from.

Ohm wished he could hate her, curse at her or wish she didn’t exist. But he knew she looked sweet, and her smile looked genuine and they looked good together, like puzzle pieces, like whatever people called it.

He pressed his fist to his heart again, tears burning his closed eyes. Before he knew what was happening, he bent over coughing violently, plenty of petals laying on the ground. Their yellow greenish color mocking him.

Staring at the petals for few moments with wide eyes, the world seemed to stop moving. His breathing stopped, he felt his throat closing and the color draining from his face. He grabbed a handful of them.  They had a soft feeling, like a flower waiting to bloom. He let the air out of mouth while taking another deep breath. He knew what was happening, what’s going to happen.

He leaned against the wall, the tears kept running down his rosy cheeks, he thought he’d choke if he didn’t stop. It wasn’t enough that his heart was broken but the universe was mocking him too. The flower which, if the love stayed unrequited, led to death. And the only other option was a surgery that would cost him his emotions, leaving him feeling empty towards the person he loved.

He laid in bed that night, tears drying out while he coughed from time to time leaving beautiful petals on the bedroom floor. While his hazel eyes stared at the wall he knew he could never remove Luke from his heart. He closed his eyes, and prayed for a miracle as the coughing died down.

 

\---

 

As days flew by, he felt his energy leaving him. Recording everyday was starting to get harder, but it never stopped him. Fans noticed his voice seemed tired, or his coughing in streams. Eating wasn’t an option and sleep rarely came.

Delirious was the first of his friends to notice, leaving it after an excuse every time and then asking again the next session. Ohm knew he’s not fooling him, but he prayed Delirious would leave it be for a while longer.

His coughing was linked to his feelings, at first, if he got stressed or played with Luke, or thought of him. He would quietly go to the bathroom and cough petals until it stopped. That was easy to cover.

One day Luke noticed something was wrong, he insisted Ohm would visit a doctor or he’d come down to his house himself. The younger laughed it off, told him he’s taking a medicine for the cold. When he heard Luke’s concerned voice, he had to run to the bathroom quicker than usual. Pink flowers mixed with blood.

 

\---

 

Ohm sat quietly, eyes still red and voice raw from last night, looking down at no one as Delirious stayed silent for a moment. When his voice came out, he doesn’t think he ever heard delirious’ voice with that many emotions at once before. It made him feel warm, but he knew better. Questions he saw coming were asked, for how long has it been going , how bad is it, what color are the petals, what are you going to do about it.  To which he answered except the last one. He knew what was coming, he felt a sharp pain in his heart and lungs as he got more worried and scared of his friend’s reply. It wasn’t far from what he expected. Warm words, good advice, things about getting it removed, how Luke would hate seeing him like this, then a threat that he won’t stand while Ohm was killing himself. Ohm smiled to how protective delirious was, he could see why Luke thought of him like a little brother. He thanked him, and told him he’ll consider it. Delirious said he’ll give him time, but not too long.

 

\---

 

There were times when he would feel better, good enough to get up from bed and even play a game. He thought he was lucky when he felt motivated enough to get up during those times. He couldn’t fool himself thinking he was getting better, with petals falling from his mouth with a color of blood. He knew he had one stage left before the surgery would be impossible, your petals would take on the color of wine before turning black.

The knock on the door caught him by surprise. When he opened the door and saw the person he loved, dark petals started falling to the floor as he tried to cover his mouth and stop coughing. He looked at Luke, who seemed broken and lost. Ohm wanted to punch himself for hurting the older, he didn’t deserve to witness this.

Hours of silence went by with small words being exchanged, the same questions too. Ohm wanted to laugh but couldn’t bring himself to. He answered them all, until the last question. _I already have an appointment with the hospital,_ he told Luke looking nowhere in particular. He stopped Luke when he saw the older about to say something by asking about her. Luke looked puzzled and lost again, like he couldn’t understand why they should talk about her. For a second, it felt like Ohm meant more, he thought as his fist clenched to his heart.

When Luke was forced to leave by Ohm to go to the hospital, they stopped in the door way. Luke looked at Ohm for a long time before speaking, _do you want me to say it?_ He said. _I need to get to the hospital, Luke._ He said while coughing a little more at the mention of his name. _Ohm, I think I could - ._ Was the last thing he heard from Luke before quickly kissing his cheek and closing the door. He knew what was happening, and where it was going. Luke felt bad, he wanted to save Ohm. Ohm knew he was beyond saving by the color of the petals hidden in his hand.

As a tear fell down his face, he went to bed and smiled at how beautiful the petals were. He thought the petals meant how beautiful and strong his feelings were for Luke, he closed eyes smiling – the sting in his heart stopped.

**Author's Note:**

> Before realizing it, I was symbolizing things that I didn't know had anything to do with this fic.  
> daffodil flowers represent unrequited love , and that's the secret to the title if you didn't figure out ;)  
> It's been a while since I wrote, so please give your feedback !  
> there's a possibility for a second and final chapter, from toonz' perspective but we'll see !  
> special thanks to my beta @handsomemango on ao3 / swagger-souls on tumblr


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